(If you, the thief, are reading this, please be noted that I'm going to pull your pancreas out through your nose with a butterknife.)
On the plus side, I've built a rather nifty 76" projection screen out of some blackout cloth and "stretcher bars" - interlocking wood bars that artists use to strech canvas. I paid under $30 for the whole thing, including fabric.
There are a few advantages to this method: The screen is stretched tight and smooth, and is very light. All that's required for assembly is a stapler and scissors; no power tools are needed.