The CONstitution.

I am now officially a sci-fi convention (or "CON") vendor. As a vendor, I now have several rules that I request those persuing my wares to consider.

1. Do not take up all of the poor booth-person's time. You may be very interesting, and they may not be allowed to move, but the poor guy behind the table really needs to be able to sell stuff to other people, which this makes difficult. Furthermore, while we are required to be nice to you, we often would rather be running and screaming.

2. My stuff is not a place to put your food, drinks, etc. etc. etc. I do not care at all if you "won't knock it over" or if I'm "being silly;" I do not want your Frappuchino introduced to the insides of my $300 projector that I need to sell very badly.

3. When I get out of the dealers' room, I bloody well want to do something fun. While I am always happy to talk money, just because I'm here to buisness does not mean I am absolutely exhausted and need a break. In fact, it means I need to have a break a lot more, because, unlike you, I am here for profit.

4. If you do not think my prices are reasonable, I will, in fact, negotiate. Probbably a bad standpoint, but hey, I'm flexible. This is not a complaint - just a statement.

5. If you are a webcomic artist in the vendor's room, you had better be ready to deal with fanboys. By "Fanboys," I mean "Me." I could be described as a webcomic whore. On the plus side, I am at least a helpful fanboy, and try to buy something if I can.

6. I have a tradition of fixing something every year. Last year, I fixed someone's Xbox. This year, I fixed someone's Wacom tablet stylus. Hopefully, I will continue this in the future.

7. I am a lazy dolt. I apologize for not having buisness cards. Please do not hate me!


After three hours of sleep and severe fuzzy-mouth from a lack of teethbrushage, and general grogginess (need...diet...Jolt...Cola....), I am nonetheless pleased. The fact that I now have $380 in my pocket (up from $85 when I walked through the door) might have something to do with this.